Thursday, July 21, 2011

More on where we are in the process

This whole invitro process is amazing!  I am so thankful that the science is available to me that we are able to have good doctors to help us hopefully get pregnant. is really hard!  It is very time consuming, I was telling my mother-in-law last night that everyone keeps telling me to just stop stressing and don't think about it but when you are doing invitro that is impossible.  For the normal couple trying to have a baby they get to just try and take a pregnancy test once a month, they might be sad for a few months when it doesn't work but they don't really have to put too much time or energy into it.  When you are doing invitro it is ALL CONSUMING.  Even if I tried to not stress about it and just forget it wouldn't work because I have a calendar of what I have to do everyday, I have to do certain shots at different points in the day, take medications go to the doctor all the time which is hard because we live in Kaysville and our doctor is in American Fork.  He is one of the best in the country so I will make the drive!  Again I am grateful that we are able to do invitro it just really takes a toll on you emotionally, physically, and financially!

  So on Monday the 18th was our egg retrieval, I was so excited for this day because that meant I got to see if the medication was working, how my body was reacting.  I have always been ok knowing that the 1st cycle might not work but it would be ok because we would have frozen embryos that we could use the next month without having to go through all of the medications again.  Well when they did the retrieval I had 11 mature eggs.  Not exactly what I was hoping for but better than a lot!  So I was being optimistic.  The next day the embryologist called and told me that they had fertilized the eggs and only 3 had survived but the 3 had fertilized and were healthy, again not the news I wanted but that is 3 good embryos I will be optimistic (Even though it is getting harder to stay positive).  On Monday at the retrieval they said they would either do the transfer on Thursday or Saturday, we were hoping for Saturday because that meant that the little embryos were multiplying and growing well.  But of course on Wednesday I get a call saying that they want to do the transfer on Thursday.  I immediately think well that means that they are not growing and doing bad.  But the doctor said that they were doing great but because there are only 3 they want to get them into their natural environment as soon as they can.  OK again I am being optimistic!!!!
  So today we will go and meet with the doctor he will show us pictures of the 3 embryos and explain how they rate, if they are good or bad and then we will pick how many we want to implant.  I have always just wanted to do 2 because then if one of them doesn't make it hopefully the other does.  But now that we only have 3 total I don't know if I should do all three.  It scares me to think of triplets but it also scares me that if only do 2 and neither survive!!  It is just so overwhelming and it is really hard knowing what decisions to make.
   If it doesn't work this time we will probably take a month off and then start all over, yes that means we have to buy $3,500.00 worth of medicine again and put my body through all of this again~  It is worth it and will be worth it~ that is my mantra lately.
  So all of you Mom's out there that are reading this please give your kids a hug and kiss for me because you really have little miracles in your family if you think about what goes on to make a baby, and you were lucky enough (most of you) to just be able to have them!! I love you all and appreciate my family and friends for all of the prayers that are being said on our behalf it has really helped me!!!
I will update as soon as I can about the transfer.  It will be a couple of days because after the transfer I have to be on total bed rest until Sunday, like I can get up to go to the bathroom and shower and THAT IS IT!!! Jeremy is going to have fun waiting on me :)


The Cooper's

Oh girl. I can't even imagine what you are going through and it is so hard to not feel guilt about the babies we were able to get here without really even trying. We all have different trials and struggles in life and that's what helps me better understand why you have to go through all this. I remember telling York all the time that I would be a surrogate for you and only you- I love you girl and can't wait for you to get your little one(s) here! Good luck this weekend- I will be thinking of you & praying for you lots!