The Colters: January 2011

Friday, January 21, 2011

Pressure

UGH! I hate how I am sometimes, I put so much pressure on myself and on my husband that it drives him crazy. I have always been like this, a serious overachiever, OCD and perfectionist. I remember I got a 4.0 all through Jr. High and High School and then I got my first A- in Calculus and thought my world was going to end, I am very hard on myself and don't know how to stop.
I put pressure on Jeremy to look and act a certain way, I know this sounds ridiculous but anytime we go out he will put something on and go to put a hat on and when I see him I tell him he has to change and do his hair, he gets so frustrated and asks why I care so much and why it matters. I don't know why it matters it just does. I feel terrible that I do this but I want us to always look good together and not have some random person look at us and think we are lazy or bums, which I know nobody would ever do but I still worry about it.
I put pressure on myself that I am 29 and still not a Mom. I mean that is what women are on earth for right? To have children and expand the human race, and something that billions of women do everyday I can't get right even once. I know that it isn't my fault, that my body has problems but that little voice inside of me says that something is really wrong with me and if I can't do this one thing what good am I. I wish that I didn't think like this, I know that Jeremy loves me no matter what, and that if we are never able to have children he will be OK, but I know that he would be an amazing father and I feel so guilty that because he married me and not someone else that could have kids that he will eventually resent and leave me. Again I know these are not rational thoughts but they are the thoughts that are constantly going through my head. I wish that I could stop them, just relax and know that everything will be OK, and that it will happen but I can't.
I put pressure on myself at work, I am frustrated that my numbers aren't as good as they were a few years ago, of course I don't take into account that I was out of the business for 2 years, and that when I came back it was the worst possible time in the housing and economic industry, of course not I think well I must not be as good as I used to be.
I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, I am just writing all of this down to purge these thoughts from my subconscious and get rid of them so all of the positive thoughts can come in, and I can let all of the pressure go out of my life! So that is my goal this year, to relax, enjoy this time in my life and learn to let things roll of my shoulders.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Anniversary

January 4th was our 1 year anniversary, not our wedding anniversary just our first official year of being together. We won't celebrate this in the future but I wanted to since it was the first time, after this we will just celebrate our wedding day. So my best friend KaraBeth helped me come up with the idea to send Jeremy on a scavenger hunt and I told her where I wanted to send him and she helped come up with the clues.

The first one was in his car after he got out of school, it was a clue that sent him to Victoria Secret in the Layton Mall.

When he got there he had a present to pick up and another clue that sent him to....................

He went to Blockbuster and picked up a movie that I had rented and some treats that I had bought and had waiting there for him, and of course was given a clue to....................

Wingers, one of our favorite places to eat. I had already ordered and paid for dinner he just had to pick it up and get the next clue

The last clue got him home and this was hanging on the door to come into the house where he came upstairs to find a letter and present for him and another present that I got him for me to wear from Victoria Secret, sorry don't think I will post a picture of that :0

Jeremy got me a dozen long stemmed roses that each rose was embossed with I love you in a different language. They were beautiful and the different languages was a fun new idea.

I know that I have said this all before but I really do mean it, I have the best husband in the world. He is so amazing withe me, I can be very frustrating to live with I am sure I have OCD about weird things, I get huffy a lot and I put a lot of pressure on both of us all the time. I wish that I wasn't like this but I am and he loves me for it. He has changed my life in so many ways and made me the Kristin that I used to be, my family is so grateful to him for that. When I was going through the tough couple of years I had my Dad used to just get so sad and ask me where his Kristin was, where his happy, smiling daughter that was going to take the world by storm, what happened to her? Well she is back and my Dad is very happy about that!!

Jeremy no one has ever, could ever or will ever love you more than I do. Thank you for making me a better person everyday. I look forward to many more anniversaries to come!!
Love Your Wifey

New Year's Eve 2010-2011

We went to my cousin Mark's house for the New Years Eve festivities. It was a really fun night with good friends. I won't go into detail because I have family that reads this blog....ha ha just kidding but it was a pretty fun and wild night. We rang in the New Year with a first New Years kiss and then went outside and did fireworks. We got home about 3am and had to be up at 9am for family parties the next day so needless to say we were spent but it was all worth it.

Christmas 2010

Well this was our first Christmas together and it was seriously one of the best days ever! It was just nice to have someone to wake up with and be excited for Christmas with! On Christmas Eve we started a tradition that I would like to keep for the rest of our lives and that was we opened our stockings. I gave Jeremy a new belt and a bunch of his favorite candy. He gave me 5 pairs of new undies from Victoria Secret :) You can never go wrong with new undies :) Then on Christmas morning we woke up around 8 and did presents just us. I gave him a couple shirts from the buckle, the new Medal of Honor for his Xbox, cologne, and a message a month for a year. Jeremy gave me a new camera with the share button (when I told him I wanted a camera all I said that I cared about was if it had a share button) some killer new boots that I LOVE, and a cute new shirt as well as my all time favorite and must have for Christmas Chocolate covered cherries, Yummy. After that we went over to his Mom and Step Dad's and had breakfast and waited for his step-sister and brother and the kids to get there. Shiloh, Steve, JayCee, Myah and Shane got there and we exchanged presents. Jeremy's brother Shane is my age (29) but has down syndrome so he is still like a kid on Christmas, it was the cutest thing ever Keith (Jeremy's step-dad) told Shane that they had come home from dinner the night before and Santa had left Shane a HUGE stocking full of presents. The look on Shane's face was priceless. Shane opened each present very carefully, but the funny thing is he has to shake each present and guess what it is before he would open it, so needless to say it took a while :)

After Jeremy's family we went up to my parents house. My parents gave us a new couch for one of our presents that they had delivered a few days before Christmas, we love it and it is sooooo comfortable. We got spoiled as usual from my parents, they always go overboard!!! We got clothes, massages, golf shoes, a hand made Winnie the pooh box for the nursery (no I am not pregnant but hopefully will be someday), books, pictures, jewelery and nameless other things that I cannot think of right now. We had dinner there and then watched Despicable Me with the kids.

It was a great day filled with wonderful memories. I am so grateful to my husband for all that he did and does for me. He wanted to make the day special and he sure did that. I love that I get to spend the rest of my life with him :)

Jeremy after opening our presents.