Pressure

UGH!  I hate how I am sometimes, I put so much pressure on myself and on my husband that it drives him crazy.  I have always been like this, a serious overachiever, OCD and perfectionist.  I remember I got a 4.0 all through Jr. High and High School and then I got my first A- in Calculus and thought my world was going to end, I am very hard on myself and don't know how to stop.
I put pressure on Jeremy to look and act a certain way, I know this sounds ridiculous but anytime we go out he will put something on and go to put a hat on and when I see him I tell him he has to change and do his hair, he gets so frustrated and asks why I care so much and why it matters.  I don't know why it matters it just does.  I feel terrible that I do this but I want us to always look good together and not have some random person look at us and think we are lazy or bums, which I know nobody would ever do but I still worry about it.
I put pressure on myself that I am 29 and still not a Mom.  I mean that is what women are on earth for right? To have children and expand the human race, and something that billions of women do everyday I can't get right even once.  I know that it isn't my fault, that my body has problems but that little voice inside of me says that something is really wrong with me and if I can't do this one thing what good am I.  I wish that I didn't think like this, I know that Jeremy loves me no matter what, and that if we are never able to have children he will be OK, but I know that he would be an amazing father and I feel so guilty that because he married me and not someone else that could have kids that he will eventually resent and leave me.  Again I know these are not rational thoughts but they are the thoughts that are constantly going through my head. I wish that I could stop them, just relax and know that everything will be OK, and that it will happen but I can't.
I put pressure on myself at work, I am frustrated that my numbers aren't as good as they were a few years ago, of course I don't take into account that I was out of the business for 2 years, and that when I came back it was the worst possible time in the housing and economic industry, of course not I think well I must not be as good as I used to be.
I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, I am just writing all of this down to purge these thoughts from my subconscious and get rid of them so all of the positive thoughts can come in, and I can let all of the pressure go out of my life!  So that is my goal this year, to relax, enjoy this time in my life and learn to let things roll of my shoulders.