Our BIG News

Well for you that read my blog have probably been wondering why I haven't written any updates since the embryo transfer............the answer to that question is my husband :)  I love him so much but he is pretty private and didn't want me to post anything until we were totally sure.
  

 We went to our 8 week ultrasound yesterday and we are for sure pregnant and just to top it off we are pregnant with TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I am so happy, excited and scared!  This is the first child for either of us and we are just a little nervous about having twins.  It is the biggest blessing ever because now I can have my 2 kids and never have to go through invitro again!

  I have been VERY sick, throwing up all day everyday but I am grateful that I am sick because that means that my little ones are growing and are healthy.  They are in 2 different sacks so they will not be identical twins we are hoping for a boy and a girl but we will take anything!

  I just wanted to say thanks for all of the love and support that everyone has shown us, we have had so many people praying for us and I think our names were in every temple in northern Utah!  We love all of you and can't wait to share this experience and our new little ones with all of you :)

Kristin and Jeremy

More on where we are in the process

This whole invitro process is amazing!  I am so thankful that the science is available to me that we are able to have good doctors to help us hopefully get pregnant.  BUT.............it is really hard!  It is very time consuming, I was telling my mother-in-law last night that everyone keeps telling me to just stop stressing and don't think about it but when you are doing invitro that is impossible.  For the normal couple trying to have a baby they get to just try and take a pregnancy test once a month, they might be sad for a few months when it doesn't work but they don't really have to put too much time or energy into it.  When you are doing invitro it is ALL CONSUMING.  Even if I tried to not stress about it and just forget it wouldn't work because I have a calendar of what I have to do everyday, I have to do certain shots at different points in the day, take medications go to the doctor all the time which is hard because we live in Kaysville and our doctor is in American Fork.  He is one of the best in the country so I will make the drive!  Again I am grateful that we are able to do invitro it just really takes a toll on you emotionally, physically, and financially!

  So on Monday the 18th was our egg retrieval, I was so excited for this day because that meant I got to see if the medication was working, how my body was reacting.  I have always been ok knowing that the 1st cycle might not work but it would be ok because we would have frozen embryos that we could use the next month without having to go through all of the medications again.  Well when they did the retrieval I had 11 mature eggs.  Not exactly what I was hoping for but better than a lot!  So I was being optimistic.  The next day the embryologist called and told me that they had fertilized the eggs and only 3 had survived but the 3 had fertilized and were healthy, again not the news I wanted but that is 3 good embryos I will be optimistic (Even though it is getting harder to stay positive).  On Monday at the retrieval they said they would either do the transfer on Thursday or Saturday, we were hoping for Saturday because that meant that the little embryos were multiplying and growing well.  But of course on Wednesday I get a call saying that they want to do the transfer on Thursday.  I immediately think well that means that they are not growing and doing bad.  But the doctor said that they were doing great but because there are only 3 they want to get them into their natural environment as soon as they can.  OK again I am being optimistic!!!!
  So today we will go and meet with the doctor he will show us pictures of the 3 embryos and explain how they rate, if they are good or bad and then we will pick how many we want to implant.  I have always just wanted to do 2 because then if one of them doesn't make it hopefully the other does.  But now that we only have 3 total I don't know if I should do all three.  It scares me to think of triplets but it also scares me that if only do 2 and neither survive!!  It is just so overwhelming and it is really hard knowing what decisions to make.
   If it doesn't work this time we will probably take a month off and then start all over, yes that means we have to buy $3,500.00 worth of medicine again and put my body through all of this again~  It is worth it and will be worth it~ that is my mantra lately.
  So all of you Mom's out there that are reading this please give your kids a hug and kiss for me because you really have little miracles in your family if you think about what goes on to make a baby, and you were lucky enough (most of you) to just be able to have them!! I love you all and appreciate my family and friends for all of the prayers that are being said on our behalf it has really helped me!!!
I will update as soon as I can about the transfer.  It will be a couple of days because after the transfer I have to be on total bed rest until Sunday, like I can get up to go to the bathroom and shower and THAT IS IT!!! Jeremy is going to have fun waiting on me :)

Invitro Process

 We are going through the Invitro process right now and I have so many things going through my head right now that I just figured maybe if I wrote them down I would feel better.
  I try really hard not to be a bitter person, now believe me a few years ago I was very bitter and blamed the world and everyone else for the things that happened to me and the way my life was turning out.  I was in a very bad spot for a while but thanks to my family and Jeremy I climbed out of that dark place and am in a much better place! 

   I have always known that it would be difficult for me to have a child so I have always just expected to have to get to this point, but that does not make it any easier trust me.  I am 29 years old, will be 30 in 3 months and it is very hard for me to think that I will be 30 years old and still not have a child (hopefully I will be pregnant with one).  Now for those of you that know me know that I have been trying for many many years to become a mother.  I tried to have a child with Korey for over 7 years but Heavenly Father has a plan for everything and knew that a child would not be a good thing in that relationship.
   Now that I have married Jeremy I know with all of my heart that I am supposed to carry his child and we are supposed to be a family forever.  The getting the child is harder than most people but I am willing to do this and put my body through so much to have this baby!

   Let me just tell you where we are in the process.  We have been going to the most amazing clinic out there Utah Fertility Center and Dr. Foulk.  He is such an amazing doctor, he is one of the best fertility specialists in the country he has been on Oprah, Dr. Oz and Dr Phil and many more shows talking about the effects of infertility on a woman's body and how it can affect a marriage.  After meeting with Dr. Foulk for an hour I learned more about infertility and why I am not able to get pregnant than I have in over 10 years of infertility.  He is just one of those doctors that is willing to sit and listen and explain everything and answer any questions that you need and I love that about him.  My cousin Patrick and Cassee have had 3 children because of his clinic and he has some of the highest success rates in the country right now, so that makes me feel a lot better!!

 Sorry I feel like I am just rambling on and on.

  So we are at the injections stage right now, I have been on different medications for the last few weeks, I was on birth control for a month to get my body ready then Jeremy and I had to both take these awful antibiotics that clear your body of any and all bacteria, they make you really sick and tired!!  Then last Wednesday we went down to have my baseline ultrasound I was really nervous about this because if you have a cyst on your ovary they don't let you do the cycle that month and I always have cysts.  But we got down there and the medication that I had been on must have worked because I didn't have a cyst and my lining was thin and everything looked perfect.  So Thursday we started the shots.  They are follicle stimulating shots that basically make my ovaries produce a lot of eggs!!  I can feel my ovaries getting full and it is a very odd sensation to be able to feel my ovaries filling up with eggs.  Tomorrow we go to another appointment and I am very nervous about this one, it will tell the doctor how the medication is working and if it is producing enough follicles to get enough eggs.  If you don't have lots of eggs to chose from then the likely hood of pregnancy is not good.  So if you read this please put is in your prayers tonight.  Once we go tomorrow we go everyday this week so the doctor can regulate my body.  Most likely on Monday the 18th we will be going in to do the the egg retrieval and then 3-5 days later they will implant the fertilized embryo into my uterus.

  I am so grateful for the science and the technology that is out there that makes it possible for women like me to conceive.  But I still have that nagging thought in the back of my mind that I am trying to hard for this and that maybe if Heavenly Father really wanted me to become a mother then he would let me do it naturally.  I know that is just my negative self coming back and that I need to consider it a blessing that we live in a time when invitro is available and that another blessing is that we are able to pay cash for the procedure and not have to charge this like so many couples have to do.  Invitro is not cheap by any means and although I wish that Jeremy's Dad didn't have to pass away for us to get the money, I have to see it as a blessing and know that he is up in Heaven preparing our child to come down to earth to be with us.

  I am really sorry that this post is so out there, I feel like I just rambled on and on and didn't make any sense but that is what is going on in my head and heart right now.  I am so screwed up with my hormones right now that I feel out of it.  But again I know it will all be worth it in a few weeks!  If everything goes as planned we will find out by August 1st if we are pregnant!  I appreciate all the prayers that are being said on my behalf and I know that many people have put our names in the temple and I can't tell you how much that means to us!  We love you all!!!
Thanks for reading my ramblings today
Kristin

Honeymoon!!!!

   We got married on June 26th 2010 and had our honeymoon planned for October, well I got a new job and Jeremy was in school so we had to postpone it until March.  So we were scheduled to leave on March 17th, and on the 11th his Dad passed away so I was trying to think how I could reschedule it again, when I asked Jeremy about postponing it again he said that we were still going and that his Dad wouldn't want us to sit home and cry he would want us to go and have fun!  I thought about it a lot because I was feeling really guilty about going but then decided that everyone was right, Bob would have wanted us to go so we did and it was the best thing we could have done.  Jeremy and me were able to get our minds off of things and was able to just have a really wonderful time.  The weather was beyond perfect it was bright blue sunny skies and 86 degrees the entire time we were there. 

   We did have a few things happen that were terrible at the time but I just kept telling Jeremy that one day we would laugh about it and be able to have all the memories and tell stories!

  We were given buddy passes by Jeremy's aunt for Southwest, we were thinking how great that would be because it was free airfare who wouldn't be excited!  WELL we didn't realize it was spring break so we got to the airport at 5am and tried to get on a flight, we were able to get out of SLC right away and flew to Las Vegas, we were thinking that we were going to be lucky and not have any problems.....boy we were wrong.  We sat in the airport and tried to get on a flight all day, we would be on the list and have the seats and right before the plane would take off we would be told that an employee and their family needed the seats so we would lose our seats.  We did this for hours and got tired of waiting so we went and bought tickets on United.  I about had a heart attack because 1 way to Orlando was over $1,100.00 but we had the money saved so we did it!  The first 2 nights we were there we had to stay in a crappy hotel because we got there 2 days early and couldn't check into our resort or get a car.  We got to the hotel really late and went to sleep, we slept til 2 in the afternoon the next day.  It was so nice outside so we walked a couple of miles down to a Walgreen's to get some supplies and that night we went to Medieval Times.  I had been to a show before but Jeremy had never been and we needed to waste time so it turned out to be a really fun night! 

The next day was Friday so we got up and took a taxi back to the airport so we could get our rental car.  We had more issues trying to get the car and ended up having to pay an extra $300.00 for the car, but by that point we just wanted to get to the resort so we got the car and got out of there.  We drove to Kissimee to our resort, we were staying 1 mile outside of the Disney properties so it was so nice!  My parents have timeshares through the Marriott and they gave us a week to use for the Honeymoon, we stayed at a Westgate resort.  This place was HUGE!  It had 18 swimming pools, playgrounds, volleyball, a towne square with a movie theater, bars, restaurants, and tons more!  We were so happy to just check in and actually get to start our trip.  We went up and looked at our room, unpacked and then did what everyone does when they go on vacation.......went to Target :)  We had to go get some groceries.  That night we just hung out around the pool and watched some movies.

Saturday was the first day that we got to go to the parks, I had bought 5 day hopper passes so we could go to all the parks.  We went to the Magic Kingdom and rode every ride we wanted to.  It was really nice just to have 2 of us because we went were we wanted and got through the park really fast.   We also went over to Epcot for a little bit that day but didn't spend much time there I think we just went on a couple of rides and by that time it was midnight so we went back to the hotel.

Sunday we went to Hollywood Studios.  They have the Tower of Terror and Aerosmith ride there and I wanted Jeremy to get to ride both!  Hollywood Studios is fun because on top of the rides you can go and watch different shows.  They have a stunt car show, Indiana Jones, American Idol, and just a bunch of other attractions it is like being on a back lot at a movie studio.

Monday we went to Animal Kingdom.  Jeremy LOVED this park.  He loves animals so we went on a safari, saw a bird show, went on a really fun dinosaur ride, they also have a river run ride that you get soaked and a really fun roller coaster called Everest.  Animal Kingdom isn't one of the huge parks and doesn't stay open too late so you can get through it in 5 or 6 hours.  We did everything we wanted and it was only like 5pm so we went out to eat and then went back to the hotel and went down to the pool.

Tuesday we were so tired from 3 days in a row at the parks so we just stayed back at the hotel and went and hung out at the pool all day, I got fried of course but it was so worth it.  We were just really lazy that day and got our rest!  It was a nice relaxing day I loved it!

Wednesday we went to Epcot.  Epcot it huge, you walk and walk and walk.  Your feet feel like they will fall off by the time you are done with Epcot.  It was the festival of the flowers while we were there so there were beautiful flowers everywhere and on top of that there were all of the Disney characters made from bushes and flowers.  It was gorgeous!  I took a lot of pictures for my Mom, she loves Disney Land and flowers.  She says that Heaven should be like Disneyland!   We went on all of the rides at Epcot and then went and walked around to all of the countries they have, it is a half circle around the park with different countries from around the world.  Each country looks like it would if you were in England, or Italy or Japan etc. and they have food and shows and different things about each country.  I have been to Epcot 3 times before but never walked around the countries.  I am so glad we did this time!  We really enjoyed seeing the different cultures and having the food and drinks from each place.  That night we stayed late at watched the fireworks over the lake at Epcot!  I love fireworks so it was fun to watch them with Jeremy :)

Thursday we went back to all of the parks to ride some of the rides again and went and walked around Downtown Disney.  It was a really busy fun filled day and a great way to end our honeymoon.  We got back and got packed and cleaned the condo and prepared to go home :(

We got up at 3:30 Friday morning so we could get to the airport to get on the standby list again.  Well there was a flight every half hour to hour and we were always the first on the list but would end up getting bumped because employees and their families would need seats so AGAIN we ended up having to buy tickets to get home that were almost $1000.00 by this time I was just sick with how much extra money we had had to spend.  I was just grateful that we had all the money in savings and were able to pay for it and not have to charge it.  And like I said one day I will laugh about it and not cry that my savings was depleted!!

It was the perfect honeymoon and I didn't want it to end because we had to come back to real life and deal with everything with his Dad's affairs but unfortunately we live in real life :) 

I just want Jeremy to know how proud I am of him for how he has handled everything lately.  There has been a lot put on his shoulders and he has dealt with it better than I could or would!  I love my husband more and more everyday, he makes me a better person and I really can't imagine my life with out him.

Sorry that this post was so long but I wanted to get it all written out so we would remember!  I will post a bunch of pictures as well!!!

Robert B. Colter

Robert Blaine (Bob) Colter
        Born October 23, 1951 to Duane and Lou Colter. Passed away on March 11, 2011. He lived life his way!
        OGDEN – Bob served in the USAF and traveled throughout the world. He worked and retired after 31 years of service on the C130 flight line as an aircraft electrician.
        Bob is survived by: mother, Lou Colter (Dean); fiancée, Carleen Young; son, Jeremy (Kristin) Colter; sister, Linda (Brent) Hamilton, niece, Morgan Sheppard and her children Kayden and MaKenna; aunt, uncles and cousins.
       He was preceded in death by his father Duane Colter, Grandma Colter and Grandma and Grandpa Moore.
      Bob was loved and will be greatly missed. Dad, I hope you have found a great fishing hole up there.
At Bob’s request, there will be no services.
Arrangements entrusted to Lindquist’s Layton Mortuary, 1867 N. Fairfield Rd.



I just wanted to post about Jeremy's Dad.  Bob passed away on March 11th at the age of 59.  It has been a really hard time for Jeremy to lose his Dad so suddenly and to have him be so young.  I won't go into the details but we were not prepared for him to die and neither was Bob, Jeremy is an only child and so he had to make all of the decisions for his Dad, he had to have him rushed to the ER, life flighted to U of U and then had to make the decision to stop measures to save his Dad's life, needless to say it was not easy for Jeremy. 
Bob did not have any of his affairs in order (who does at that age, you don't want to think about death when you are still relatively young) so we have had to figure out EVERYTHING.  From cremation, to life insurance and paying bills and proving that Jeremy is the sole beneficiary.  It is not an easy thing, so the only advice is to make sure your parents have a trust or a will and let you know what they want to happen when they pass away.

Jeremy's Dad was a different guy he kept to himself and lived how he wanted but he was a great person!  Jeremy and Bob had a different relationship, they didn't have to talk on the phone or see each other every day or week to know that they loved each other.  Bob loved Jeremy with all of his heart, his aunt Linda has told me how much Jeremy meant to Bob and I hope that Jer knows that.  When Jeremy was in Iraq I guess his Dad would only sleep a few hours a night because he wanted to be watching CNN to make sure that nothing had happened to his son.  Bob had a great personality and I am going to miss him, the thing that makes me the most sad is that our kids will never know their Grandpa Colter but we will do our best to keep him alive through stories.

I hope that Bob is up in Heaven having a great time fishing and has found a slot machine that pays out :) 
We love you Dad
Jeremy and Kristin

Pressure

UGH!  I hate how I am sometimes, I put so much pressure on myself and on my husband that it drives him crazy.  I have always been like this, a serious overachiever, OCD and perfectionist.  I remember I got a 4.0 all through Jr. High and High School and then I got my first A- in Calculus and thought my world was going to end, I am very hard on myself and don't know how to stop.
I put pressure on Jeremy to look and act a certain way, I know this sounds ridiculous but anytime we go out he will put something on and go to put a hat on and when I see him I tell him he has to change and do his hair, he gets so frustrated and asks why I care so much and why it matters.  I don't know why it matters it just does.  I feel terrible that I do this but I want us to always look good together and not have some random person look at us and think we are lazy or bums, which I know nobody would ever do but I still worry about it.
I put pressure on myself that I am 29 and still not a Mom.  I mean that is what women are on earth for right? To have children and expand the human race, and something that billions of women do everyday I can't get right even once.  I know that it isn't my fault, that my body has problems but that little voice inside of me says that something is really wrong with me and if I can't do this one thing what good am I.  I wish that I didn't think like this, I know that Jeremy loves me no matter what, and that if we are never able to have children he will be OK, but I know that he would be an amazing father and I feel so guilty that because he married me and not someone else that could have kids that he will eventually resent and leave me.  Again I know these are not rational thoughts but they are the thoughts that are constantly going through my head. I wish that I could stop them, just relax and know that everything will be OK, and that it will happen but I can't.
I put pressure on myself at work, I am frustrated that my numbers aren't as good as they were a few years ago, of course I don't take into account that I was out of the business for 2 years, and that when I came back it was the worst possible time in the housing and economic industry, of course not I think well I must not be as good as I used to be.
I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer here, I am just writing all of this down to purge these thoughts from my subconscious and get rid of them so all of the positive thoughts can come in, and I can let all of the pressure go out of my life!  So that is my goal this year, to relax, enjoy this time in my life and learn to let things roll of my shoulders. 

Anniversary

January 4th was our 1 year anniversary, not our wedding anniversary just our first official year of being together.  We won't celebrate this in the future but I wanted to since it was the first time, after this we will just celebrate our wedding day.  So my best friend KaraBeth helped me come up with the idea to send Jeremy on a scavenger hunt and I told her where I wanted to send him and she helped come up with the clues.

The first one was in his car after he got out of school, it was a clue that sent him to Victoria Secret in the Layton Mall.

When he got there he had a present to pick up and another clue that sent him to....................

He went to Blockbuster and picked up a movie that I had rented and some treats that I had bought and had waiting there for him, and of course was given a clue to....................

Wingers, one of our favorite places to eat.  I had already ordered and paid for dinner he just had to pick it up and get the next clue

The last clue got him home and this was hanging on the door to come into the house where he came upstairs to find a letter and present for him and another present that I got him for me to wear from Victoria Secret, sorry don't think I will post a picture of that :0

Jeremy got me a dozen long stemmed roses that each rose was embossed with I love you in a different language.  They were beautiful and the different languages was a fun new idea.

I know that I have said this all before but I really do mean it, I have the best husband in the world.  He is so amazing withe me, I can be very frustrating to live with I am sure I have OCD about weird things, I get huffy a lot and I put a lot of pressure on both of us all the time.  I wish that I wasn't like this but I am and he loves me for it.  He has changed my life in so many ways and made me the Kristin that I used to be, my family is so grateful to him for that.  When I was going through the tough couple of years I had my Dad used to just get so sad and ask me where his Kristin was, where his happy, smiling daughter that was going to take the world by storm, what happened to her?  Well she is back and my Dad is very happy about that!!

Jeremy no one has ever, could ever or will ever love you more than I do.  Thank you for making me a better person everyday.  I look forward to many more anniversaries to come!!
Love Your Wifey

New Year's Eve 2010-2011

We went to my cousin Mark's house for the New Years Eve festivities. It was a really fun night with good friends.  I won't go into detail because I have family that reads this blog....ha ha just kidding but it was a pretty fun and wild night.  We rang in the New Year with a first New Years kiss and then went outside and did fireworks.  We got home about 3am and had to be up at 9am for family parties the next day so needless to say we were spent but it was all worth it.

Christmas 2010

Well this was our first Christmas together and it was seriously one of the best days ever!  It was just nice to have someone to wake up with and be excited for Christmas with! On Christmas Eve we started a tradition that I would like to keep for the rest of our lives and that was we opened our stockings.  I gave Jeremy a new belt and a bunch of his favorite candy.  He gave me 5 pairs of new undies from Victoria Secret :)  You can never go wrong with new undies :)  Then on Christmas morning we woke up around 8 and did presents just us.  I gave him a couple shirts from the buckle, the new Medal of Honor for his Xbox, cologne, and a message a month for a year.  Jeremy gave me a new camera with the share button (when I told him I wanted a camera all I said that I cared about was if it had a share button) some killer new boots that I LOVE, and a cute new shirt as well as my all time favorite and must have for Christmas Chocolate covered cherries, Yummy.  After that we went over to his Mom and Step Dad's and had breakfast and waited for his step-sister and brother and the kids to get there.  Shiloh, Steve, JayCee, Myah and Shane got there and we exchanged presents.  Jeremy's brother Shane is my age (29) but has down syndrome so he is still like a kid on Christmas, it was the cutest thing ever Keith (Jeremy's step-dad) told Shane that they had come home from dinner the night before and Santa had left Shane a HUGE stocking full of presents.  The look on Shane's face was priceless.  Shane opened each present very carefully, but the funny thing is he has to shake each present and guess what it is before he would open it, so needless to say it took a while :) 

After Jeremy's family we went up to my parents house.  My parents gave us a new couch for one of our presents that they had delivered a few days before Christmas, we love it and it is sooooo comfortable.  We got spoiled as usual from my parents, they always go overboard!!!  We got clothes, massages, golf shoes, a hand made Winnie the pooh box for the nursery (no I am not pregnant but hopefully will be someday), books, pictures, jewelery and nameless other things that I cannot think of right now.  We had dinner there and then watched Despicable Me with the kids.

It was a great day filled with wonderful memories.  I am so grateful to my husband for all that he did and does for me.  He wanted to make the day special and he sure did that.  I love that I get to spend the rest of my life with him :)

Jeremy after opening our presents.

WOW I cannot believe I am posting a picture of what I look like with no makeup and my hair a mess :)

Jeremy's Mom Donna and Step-Dad Keith

My hot honey being a nerdo

Just me

Our first hold the camera with one arm and take a picture of ourselves on my new camera.

Jeremy and Shane, I just love that smile of Shane's

JayCee and Myah

Steve and JayCee

The stocking from Santa

Shaking his presents

Steve and Shiloh

Part of the gifts at my parents house, told you they go crazy!!!!

Zackary and Jacob, they are getting so big :(

Jeremy and his girlfriend Emma.

We gave Emma a my little pony doll and she kissed the box as soon as she opened it, most adorable thing EVER!!!!

That is the Winnie the Pooh box for the someday nursery.

Us being silly :)