My Birthday

For my 27th Birthday and my Dad's 60th birthday we went to Sparetime Bowling and Fun Center with my family. It was a lot of fun to bowl with the boys, they actually caught on pretty well. Jacob is a natural and was able to throw that ball down the lane; Zack on the other hand had a little problem. He would actually THROW the ball so it would smack down on the lane really hard and loud; I honestly thought that the floor was going to crack! After bowling the boys went galactic golfing with my parents. Then after that we went to Timbermine to eat dinner! YUMMY I love that place. I have some cute pictures that are on my other camera that I will upload later.
This is Zacky being a monkey!

Me trying to show the boys what to do, I was on a bowling league you know so naturally I am the best bowler in the family NOT AT ALL I AM TERRIBLE NOW!!!!

This is me and my beautiful Mom and Sister! I love them both more than either of them will ever know! And I am so grateful they are in my life, they do so much for me I don't deserve all that they do and how much they worry and take care of me.

These are the roses I got from my "boyfriends" Zack and Jake, Mel must have felt bad that I am single and don't have a boy to give me flowers right now so the boys did it!

All in all it was a really good birthday, for a long time I was being a brat and telling my parents and family that I didn't want to celebrate at all this year, I didn't want presents, I didn't want to go to dinner and I didn't want to do anything. I am glad that I realized how stupid I was being before it was too late. I realized that just because I am sad and lonley this year doesn't mean that I have to ruin the day for everyone else.

I am praying that by my 28th birthday I will have a really cute guy that will give me flowers for real this time. If I don't then that is ok as well I am just going to try and make the best out of every situation that life throws at me for the next little while and pray that things work out for me. I have a good feeling that this next year is going to be so much better than my last 5 years.

The most adorable boys in the world!!!!!

I watched the boys over night and then they came to Church with me and my Dad. They were a definate hit at church, all the old ladies fell in love with them. And that is very easy to do!

I love that my boys are best buddies and I pray that they always stay that way!!!

Ok so yes I admit that I am probably very biased on this subject but honestly my nephews are the most adorabde 5 and 6 year old little boys in the world! I haven't posted pictures of them in a while so here a few that I have taken over the last few months :)

Update on Life

Well since I haven't updated this for a while I will give you some of the new facts.
I love my job up on base, doesn't pay the best but it gets me out of the house.
Our house I think is fianlly going to be done and sold soon YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have the divorce papers in my hot little hands so that the moment we get the house signed we can sign the divorce papers and get that over as well.
Korey has moved on very quickly he is actually dating a girl up in Ogden, at first it was very hard on me I was sad, mad, hurt I felt betrayed but mostly I just feel like I have wasted the last 9 years of my life on someone who obviously didn't love me as much as I did him.
I just want the divorce to be final so that I can feel like I can move on, I mean I know that I can go out and date and things but I know that there are a lot of men that find out you are technically still married and wont touch you with a 10 foot pole. I am not out there wanting to get into a relationship already but I guess it would be nice to go out on a date and have someone be nie to me and treat me nice! Is that asking too much?

I went with my sister down to St. George last weekend to see my parents and go to Tuachan to see Les Mis, it was fabulous. I got some really cute pictures that as soon as I can get my sisters camera from her I will post!

Anyways if you have any suggestions of how I can get back on the horse so to say I am all ears! Or if you just want to talk I am always available:)
Love everyone
xoxoxoxoxox
Kris

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey everyone I finally have some good news to report! I got a job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited I can barley stand it.

The place that I am working for is called KIHO Military Acquisition Consulting, Inc. it is a contractor for the government and I will be working directly up on the base. I am so glad that I will be getting out of the house more and working again, I have not liked sitting on my butt all day collecting unemployment. Granted that was nice for about a week but then it gets really boring and I felt like a piece of junk that never contributed so it will be nice for my self esteem to get back out there and have some self worth again!

Anyways I start bright and early tomorrow morning so everyone wish me luck:)

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok anyone who looks at my blog I need HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If anyone has any ideas of how to cure insomnia or just help me get ONE night of sleep I am up to try ANYTHING right now. I am seriously on day 4 on not one minute of sleep. And I am so sick of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So if anyone can help me I will do anything for you!
Thanks all
Kris

JOB Anyone??

Hey all, I am just putting this out there so if anyone hears of anything PLEASE let me know.
I need a job so bad!!!! I did Title and Escrow for almost 9 years so I have lots of experience in finance, Real Estate, marketing, admin.
But if you know of anyone that is hiring please let me know
Thanks so much I appreciate it!

Unanswered Prayers

Hello all it is another sleepless night for Kristin, it is 5:28am and I haven't slept a minute tonight. I am really getting tired of this. So as I try to keep myself occupied throughout the night (you can only read, and watch late night TV for so long) I have been looking at so many people's blogs. They are all so cute and give me tons of ideas, I love seeing all my friends from School and people that I just knew of, how there lives have turned out and all the cute kids that have come into these families.

That gets me to my point of my title of this post. While it makes me very sad that I don't have children of my own, even though we tried very hard, Korey and I were on infertility medicine for almost 5 years, going to the doctor 3 times a week sometimes and we spent close to $10,000.00 trying to get pregnant. That avenue never panned out for us so we were on the LDS adoption list for 3 years and that never worked out either. I cried myself to sleep so many nights wondering what had I done so wrong in my life that I wasn't good enough to be a mother. That is all I wanted, and I saw so many people out there who had kids but didn't care and didn't want to take care of the children, I would get so upset over this and was very bitter and resentful for way too long.

Well my point in all of this is that Heavenly Father really does know what he is doing, I am so grateful that I don't have children now that I am going through this divorce from Korey. It is hard enough on me and I am a grown woman but to put a helpless child through that would be so hard for me to do. So while I still long to be a mother I am grateful that at this time I don't have to struggle with the knowledge that I was hurting my child.

It is enough stress on me knowing that my poor little nephew Zackary is having health issues becuase of what is giong on, it just kills me to know that I am causing a 6 year old to have stomach issues and stress, I am so sorry Zackary I love you with all of my heart and soul and hope one day that you will understand and forgive me, I pray that this will not have a lasting effect on you and that you get back to your cute little fun self with no health issues!!!!

I just want to express my gratitude toward my Heavenly Father for all that was done on my behalf, I know that I have sinned so many times and that those sins hurt Jesus Christ, I am so sorry for all of my shortcomings, but I am grateful that Jesus bled and died for me so that I can return to them one day. Going through this experience has brought me so much closer to the Lord and the Church, I am so glad to have the Holy Ghost back in my life, I missed that protection and calm spirit around me! I pray that I will be stronger in the future and have a better testimony and never let myself go away from my Heavenly Father and the teachings that I know are true and right!

I love you all!

Zackary's Talk

So I have one more post tonight Melissa just told me that Zack gave a talk in church yesterday and said that he was glad to be a member of "The Church of Jesus Christ of SATURDAY Saints" so funny! That is why I love little kids!!!
I love that little guy more than anything

BBQ For Brad at Phillips

I have the best friends!!!!!!!!!!!! This was for our friend Brad who lives all the way across the country in PA so when he was here in July we did a BBQ at Phil's for Brad's birthday! Here are the pictures that I took!

Hope you all enjoy!!!!

Funny Jacob Story

So this is a funny story that made me feel really good! My sister called and told me this the other day and I just knew that I had to post it. So Zackary and Jacob and I have this thing where whenever we see each other we say "I love you and you are my best friend" Well Melissa and Jacob were out by the pool the other day and Jacob was copying everything that Melissa did, if she crossed or uncrossed her legs he would do the same etc. so she said "Jacob am I your best friend" he looked at her and kinda hesitated and with his little "Jacob" smile said "Well yeah" and then he said "But Mama Kristin is my real best friend cause she dos more fun stuff for me" He didn't say does more but dos more. That is why I think it was so cute! Then he giggled and Melissa gave him a hard time about it. I just love that little boy! It is that pure honesty in little kids that is the best! I am so glad that Melissa told me that story, these are the things that I always want to remember!!!!!

I love you Jacob

My Nephews keep me Happy!

Ok, I just have to write a little bit about two of the most special guys in my world. They are my nephews Zackary (he just turned 6 in July) and Jacob (He will be 5 in September). I have lived next door to them there entire lives and now that I have moved back home it has been really hard not to see them everyday, my poor little Zackary is having a hard time with my divorce he is so sensitive and this is just hard on him. Jacob is off in his own world and doesn't seem to notice which I am so grateful for that he doesnt have to have stress. They don't deserve that and it kills me that I am putting them through this!
I have been so close to these boys and they make me so happy, it is so hard for me to imagine how in the world I would be able to love children of my own more than I love these boys. They are the world to me, I love that they make me smile when I think that there is no way I will ever be able to smile or laugh again, somehow they always can!
Melissa, my sister and the boys' Mom says that if she hadn't been pregnant and given birth to Zackary she would never believe that he didn't belong to me. He is just like me and that makes me so happy. I may never have children of my own and for a long time that killed me but having these little guys in my life makes it easier for me to swallow, they love me so much and I could never ask for better nephews.
I have to express my love and appreciation for my sister and her husband Scott. They have never got upset when I wanted to take the boys, they let them sleepover and come with me alot. They never get upset or hurt when the boys want to ride with me places. I know that it might be hard for some parents wanting to experience everything first with their children but Melissa and Scott are so great that they never hold the kids back and let them be with me. They are the best parents and I look up to them so much!!
Thank you for always being there for me and letting me be a part of the boys life!
Well here are some recent pictures of my little crazy boys, I love you Zackary and Jacob thank you for making me happy!!!!!!!!!!!!